I'm not going to pretend I'm suddenly fluent in Welsh, because that would be a lie, but given where last year took me I think it'd be wrong to not give that a bit of a shoutout by wishing everyone "Blwyddyn Newydd Dda!" - "Happy New Year!" (and for anyone other than the maybe 2 welsh people reading this, that's "Blew-ith-in Ney-with Tha") (I also really hope I've not just massively embarrassed myself by trying to type it out phonetically and getting it wrong, so if you do happen to know welsh please feel free to mock me for this)
It's been a crazy wild year, and to be honest I'd be lying if I said I was sad to see it go. It was a year filled with dark depression, loneliness, the falling apart of my friendship group and secrets that damn near destroyed me, and those that were once close to me, the combination of all of those things fuelling a restlessness inside me that meant I needed to leave, to restart, to become "me". In leaving though, I managed to do the typical "me" thing and leave things unsaid, and in doing so I created a situation where it became impossible to move on. I trapped myself in the past. I guess sometimes we just meet the right people at the wrong time. I said a year ago on January 1st that I hoped 2016 would be a year to remember, and it has been, but for all the wrong reasons...
Despite all the bad stuff, I can't just let 2016 go without mentioning all the good things that happened, because whatever I might have said, it's actually been an amazing year, as far as personal growth goes. I've accomplished things this year that if you told me I'd accomplish at the start of this year I'd quite frankly have laughed at you. I managed to secure a place at university, against all odds, I've gained a huge amount of confidence (although still not as much as I wish I had), in myself and in other situations, and I've learned some really important lessons about trust, both in what I am capable of, and in the plan God has for my life and what living that life means. The bungee jump lifestyle, as Miriam Swaffield put it. Living that is terrifying, but you can't half jump off a bridge. What you get is whole life, with all it's ups and downs, or no life. You go, or you don't. Nobody said it was going to be easy, but that's not really the point. It's the path I chose to take, and that's what matters.
As a final farewell to 2016 then, I think it's only right that I end this post with what is perhaps an over done, but still good list of the five best moments of the past year, so without further ado, here it is:
5. EPMF 2016
The European Puppetry and creative Ministry Festival is an annual event where teams from all over the country gather to showcase all things puppety. It is a 2 day event packed full of workshops, competitions and performances by well known (at least in their circles) acts, the highlight of which is a one hour performance by the year's puppet academy, which is essentially "what can you do with no limits." It is always inspiring to see just what they have been able to accomplish in a short space of time, and the final performance this year was Steven Curtis Chapman's "Lord of the Dance" using a combination of blacklight, puppets and dance with dowel rods. It is my hope that I will be able to enter their ranks this year, although doing so requires me to submit a video for review performing behind an uncurtained stage, so it's a fair bet that whatever it is I do ends up on the YouTube channel, though more on that at a later date.
4. Prosecco bonding
OK, so I'd literally just moved into my halls at University, as in, I'd been there two days, but because this happened on the day the majority of people arrived I'm going to call it day one, and just go with that. Essentially one of the people in my flat brought a bottle of Prosecco, as an excuse to have us all get together and get to know one another. She didn't want to open it, not because she didn't want Prosecco, but because Prosecco is somewhat fizzy, and bottles if not handled carefully have a habit of exploding. As we found out when Rhys tried to open it... Suffice to say the clearing up of the resulting "alcohol all over the kitchen floor" situation proved to be a much better icebreaker than the alcohol itself (though I didn't have any).
3. Soul Survivor
Seriously, if I've not mentioned this to you, I don't know how the heck I've managed to avoid talking about it. While this year wasn't necessarily the best year for it, at least in my experience I did still get a huge amount out of it, and the week itself was a really powerful reminder of what it is I live for, and is the origin of the bungee jump quote (anyone who is really REALLY interested and has a while to spare can find the entire 41 minute talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZLf_YbdVmoc )
Other highlights include Andy Croft "Leaving Mike in the grand canyon to die" (Wow Woe Go talk here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XfkiyhK9hW0 ) and his quote "Nobody in the history of calming down has ever calmed down by being told to calm down"
2. New Wine
This probably seems a little backward for anyone who knows me particularly well, but yes, New Wine this year really was better than Soul Survivor, and yes, that's actually crazy, given how much I rave about how amazing Soul Survivor is. This year was my second year serving on team at the conference, working on the Stepping Stones team with 0-4s. I don't know what it is that draws me back there, it's not the sort of thing you'd expect to find me doing, but it really does make a huge difference being a part of a team like that, you always have something to do, people are really friendly, and although I'm completely terrible at social interaction being put in that situation really forces you to adapt, and to fill your role. The defining moment of the week though was the family celebration, where Stepping Stones ended up being part of a prayer ministry team at the front of the main arena for almost 2000 people. I could have run away at that point, and not shown up, but instead I decided that despite how terrified I was of the prospect I would put myself out there and see what happened. I ended up praying for a family, and it was really an exercise in trust, that I'd be given the right words to say, because anyone who knows me knows I don't do prayer out loud, but when you're in that situation you kinda have to, or the people you're praying for might feel uncomfortable or awkward. It didn't feel particularly spiritual at the time, but looking back I can see how it was, and it has really changed my perspective.
1. Teignmouth
OK, so what beats New Wine, well the answer might surprise you, or it might not depending on who you are and/or how well you know me. You may or may not be aware that I have had a very busy summer this year. Two weeks of camping, the family holiday, a good week of puppet rehearsal (in which nobody killed anybody else, amazingly), and finally this.
Essentially, I'd been trying to convince my friend Elise to come with us to Soul Survivor for quite a long time, unfortunately with no success. We'd been planning to do some kind of multi day trip for a while, but the year before our plans to go camping had fallen apart when the two other people we were trying to invite decided not to go. We had also completely failed to find any campsites which meant we didn't have much of a plan. This year however, our plans to organise something actually ended up working out. What we got was far from the camping trip we had originally planned. What we got was Teignmouth.
Although we didn't really go with a plan, those 4 days were undoubtedly the highlight of the year, and the memories I have of the trip, and the time we spent together, just as friends, are ones I will treasure forever, because with friends, it doesn't matter what we do, as long as we're together.
Honourable mentions:
- Rube Goldberg labs
- "Lionel the polar bear" (Seriously, long story, might write about it at some point)
- Results day
Anyway, as of writing this sentence it's 5:24 AM, and I really REALLY need to sleep, but I would just like to end by saying a great big massive thank you to everyone who has supported me over the past year, and all the amazing people I've met in Cardiff. You guys make life liveable, you really do.
Thank you for all the positive memories I've made of last year, despite all the bad stuff, and here's to the next one!
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