It's Complicated...

So it's been a few days since I last posted, and I figured I had to do something about that, to give a quick run down on the past few days before I get properly into this post, since last posting I have:

• Finished inductions
• Been assigned a personal tutor and student mentor
• Picked the optional modules "Engaging Physics" and "Planet Earth"
• Averaged about 5 hours sleep, mostly my own fault
• Read two thirds of the book "Cupcakes, Trinkets and Other Deadly Magic" (Thanks Taz!)
• Gained nearly 16 million firemaking experience on the game RuneScape (equivalent to about 18/19 hours play time, don't judge me...)
• Achieved Silver V on League of Legends, 3 years late...
• Met fellow physics student Alan for Coffee (Hot Chocolate)
• Cooked 4 meals, and then subsequently run out of food in the cupboard, but not died
• Joined the Chaos society, and then somehow managed to not make it to any of their events
• Been kept up until almost 4 AM by flat mates singing in the kitchen
• Spent 5 hours doing labs prep, and decided I hate uncertainties and everything they stand for
• Thought of about 3 or 4 blog posts, and then not posted them
• Met up with Ruth, Adam and Zoe
• Gone to a random church, Cardiff Vineyard, which probably won't be the only church I visit but is definitely somewhere I feel I could settle, and will probably return to at least once
• Survived freshers week without consuming alcohol!

Last but not least, I think I've decided that life here is not so bad! I've met some great people here, (Alice wanted a mention, but all my flat mates are great really. And everyone else I've spoken to!) and despite being in a flat of 11 as one of the most socially awkward, introverted people you're ever likely to meet I think I'm doing all right, which is the complete opposite of the panic attacks of just over a week ago right now. If anything I think having more people around is better, because there's always someone around in the kitchen to talk to when cooking and stuff, although I don't spend a whole lot of time there, and when I do I make the most boring unadventurous food you can think of (plain pasta with breaded chicken) but that really isn't the point.

Anyway, with that out of the way, you might be starting to wonder... "What's complicated"

The honest answer really is, everything, but the specific thing I'm talking about here is the question of my faith, how I present it and how other people see it. 

(On a side note, the purpose of this post is not to try and convert anybody, it is to share something that has been on my mind now for months, and I apologise if it comes across that way)

At this point, at least 3 different people have asked me the question "Are you religious?" 

My Answer? "It's complicated..."

I will now try and explain what I mean by this, but as a warning, I've not worked out exactly how to explain it yet, so sorry if it is difficult to follow or inadvertently offends somebody. When I say "It's complicated" what I am not trying to do is hide the fact I have a faith. I am a Christian, I believe in God, and I believe that Jesus died and was raised so that through his death we might live. I realise any non Christians reading this will probably think I'm some sort of crazy person for believing this, but heck, I'm going to put this on my blog anyway, so go ahead and call me crazy, there are many other things I do which are equally as crazy (Just to give an example, I now have 9,260 hours logged on the game RuneScape, which equates to well over a year spent logged in). But I'm getting sidetracked...

So yes, I'm a Christian, and I try to be open about it. I'm not as open about it as I would like to be, but if someone asks me I no longer try and hide the fact, but am I religious? To the person asking the question, yes, I am. I believe in God, so therefore I must be religious, right...?

Actually, I would have told you otherwise, and this is where it gets complicated. I've never liked the word "religion" I always feel like it is far too nonspecific, and conveys the wrong ideas. To me, a religion is something to be followed religiously, something with rules and regulations which must be adhered to in order to achieve something better. When an atheist hears the word religion, this is immediately what they think of, and what are rules and regulations to be followed if not a chore. Religion to an atheist sounds like something dull, something they don't want any part of.

Christianity to me is the exact opposite of these things. Instead of being bound to a certain code of practice, having to work your way to enlightenment, we have instead been freed, so that we may have life to the full, now and always. Being a Christian is not a chore, far from it! It's an invitation to the best party ever! There were always going to be ups, and there were always going to be downs, and nobody said it was going to be easy, but it's life to the full, and as Miriam Swaffield put it: "you can't half jump off a bridge" You can stand there, on the edge, attached to the bungee cord and never committing to the jump, or you can take the risk and experience all life has to offer.

Now, having compared being a Christian to a bungee jump, you can probably tell why I wouldn't call myself a religious person. No religion I know of gets followers to jump off bridges attached to bungee cords for no reason other than because it's a vaguely terrifying yet at the same time fun experience. It just doesn't fit together in anybodies heads.

I think sometimes Christianity gets a bit of a bad rep, from street preachers and the like saying you will go to hell if you don't repent and confess your sins. All that people like that are ever likely to achieve is alienating people who are non believers. It's partly for this reason that I prefer to communicate my faith through my actions, rather than shoving it down peoples throats. A kind action for Jesus will go a lot further than a few words. It's for this reason it may seem like I'm hiding my faith at times. I don't want to force anything on anybody, because ultimately it's their decision, not mine, and it's meaningless if you're not able or willing to live by it.

Honestly I don't know how to end this, so I suppose it's going to be a bit abrupt, but if anyone wants to talk about literally anything related to my faith, or even just random other stuff I'll try and be around, just don't try and contact me at ridiculous o'clock!