Day 2 - Dear Younger Me

I've made mistakes in my life, who hasn't...? If there's one thing you can guarantee it's that at some point, we're all going to do something we regret, or in many cases not do something, and then think back on it and be like: "I wish I'd done that" or "what if I'd done this differently"

I came across a song a while ago now, which as soon as I heard it resonated with me

----- Dear Younger Me - MercyMe -----

Dear younger me, where do I start?

If I could tell you everything that I have learned so far then you could be

One step ahead of all the painful memories still running through my head

I wonder how much different things would be...

Dear younger me...

Dear younger me, I cannot decide,

Do I give some speech about how to get the most out of your life or do I go deep and try to change 

The choices that you'll make 'cause they're the choices that made me

And even though I love this crazy life

Sometimes I wish it was a smoother ride

Dear younger me

Dear younger me...

Oh if I knew them what I know now, condemnation would've had no power

My joy, my pain would've never been my worth

If I knew then what I know now, would've not been hard to figure out

What I would've changed if I had heard

Dear younger me, it's not your fault

You were never meant to carry this beyond the cross

Dear younger me

You are holy, you are righteous, you are one of the redeemed

Set apart, a brand new heart, oh you are free indeed

In every mountain, every valley, through each heartache you will see

Every moment brings you closer to who you were meant to be

Dear younger me

Dear younger me...

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Official lyric video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l70C3ePyIQ

Over the past 6 months, I've been constantly plagued by "What if's." "What if I had thought more about my future before committing to university?", "What if I chose the wrong subject?" "What if I had chosen a different subject?" "What if I had been more open about my feelings 4 years ago?" The list is endless. They dragged me down, and held me there, while I was battered by what if after what if. I honestly lost count of the number of things that were brought up during this time that made me wish I could have gone back and changed them. It's been really really rough. Don't get me wrong, I love university and all the crazyness of it. Living here is great but I didn't always think that. It took a significant part of my first semester to even begin to settle down, and I still don't feel entirely comfortable with my situation, but it's the last part of this song that really helped:

"In every mountain, every valley, through each heartache you will see every moment brings you closer to who you were meant to be. Dear younger me..."

Even now, the what if's still come to try and get me, the difference is, I stopped listening to them. It doesn't matter if times are good, or times are bad. Things happen for a reason. Sometimes we just need to be, and accept that whatever you've done, whatever you're going through, things will get better, all it takes is for you to keep going, and that's exactly what I must do now...